130+ Quotes about England in 2024 (by a Local)

What are some famous English quotes?

Picturesque and historic England – a land of innovation and influence, is an island nation of famous inventors and pioneers, poetry and theater, tea drinkers, and a complex yet ancient royal family.

As an Englishman myself, I’ve always enjoyed what others have to say about my homeland.

From side-splitting quips about our food and the weather, to moving tributes to England’s green hills and stone villages, this country has inspired many memorable quotes.

In curating this article, I attempted to capture England’s spirit – the humor, the passion, the indelible magic – through quotes from poets, playwrights, novelists, and more. Of course, no compilation could match the Bard’s odes or Wilde’s rapier wit. 

But I delighted in digging up lesser-known lines capturing England’s landscapes, customs, and obsessions with tea, football and more.

132 Best England Quotes and Sayings [2024 Edition]

A collection of the most witty and funny quotes about England, famous British quotes about life and death, and most popular English quotes and sayings.

16 Funny Quotes About England

To start off, I’ve put together some of the funniest quotes about England here:

“In England, there are sixty different religions and only one sauce.” – Francesco Caracciolo

“An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.” – George Mikes

“It’s been sunny for three days, if it rains tomorrow, someone will say summer is over.” – Alain Bremond-Torrent

“The sun doesn’t live in England; it comes here on holiday when we’re all at work.” – Benny Bellamacina

“England has two books, the Bible and Shakespeare. England made Shakespeare, but the Bible made England.” – Victor Hugo

“If countries were named after the words you first hear when you go there, England would have to be called “Damn It”.” – Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

“I don’t desire to change anything in England except the weather.” – Oscar Wilde

“Heaven take thy soul, and England keep my bones!” – William Shakespeare

“Never, and by this I mean never, criticise the English weather. Especially if you’re an alien…” – Angela Kiss

“We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.” – Oscar Wilde

“An Englishman is a self-made man who worships his creator.” – John Bright

“Where there is despair in England, there is tea.” – Alan Patridge

“An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable.” – George Bernard Shaw

“The English winter – ending in July, to recommence in August.” – Lord Byron

“You can always spot a British person pretending to be American because they say ‘take-out food’ instead of just ‘take-away’.” – Ricky Gervais

“I don’t dislike the English, but they were the master race during their time. We’re allowed to be racist against them.” – Eddie Izzard

👉 Want more funny quotes? Read: 53 Travel Quotes That Will Make You Burst with Laughter

14 Short Quotes About England

These short quotes say everything they need in a few words, and are perfect to use for quick captions on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook:

“This scepter’d isle” – William Shakespeare

“Other Eden” – William Shakespeare

“Two countries divided” – George Bernard Shaw

“When I’m in England” – Stevie Smith

“Love a pedigree” – George Bernard Shaw

“The blurred line” – Winston Churchill

“Victorian family” – George Orwell

“Damn It” – Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

“Stiff upper lip” – Neil Morrissey

“April ‘s here” – Robert Browning

“Muddy island nation”

“Land of hope and glory”

“Green and pleasant land” – William Blake

“Home of fish and chips”

👉 Related post: Funny & Witty Travel Themed Puns for your Instagram & TikTok

15 Inspirational Quotes About England

Now we move on to the most inspiring quotes I’ve ever read about England:

“I discovered freedom for the first time in England.” – Hirohito, Emperor of Japan

“England is never in a hurry because she is eternal.” – Henryk Sienkiewicz

“I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too.” – Queen Elizabeth I

“The people of England are the most enthusiastic in the world.” – Benjamin Disraeli

“You can take the boy out of England, but you can’t take England out of the boy…” – John Mahoney

“If I should die think only this of me: That there’s some corner of a foreign field That is forever England.” – Rupert Brooke

“England is the paradise of individuality, eccentricity, heresy, anomalies, hobbies and humors.” – George Santayana

“What is it about the English countryside — why is the beauty so much more than visual? Why does it touch one so?” – Dodie Smith

“Oh to be in England now that April’s there.” – Robert Browning

“When England is at war with any foreign nation the English instinctively recognize that they are defending the liberty of Europe.” – George Orwell

“There is a land beyond the reach of doubt, for those with faith to stop and shout.” – Henry David Thoreau

“England and the English breathe fresh hope and warm dreams into the world.” – Robert Recorde

“Winds charged with change stir the waters around these ancient lands still steeped in magic and myth.” – James H. Cobb

“England is a place for dreamers to weave magic into the fabric of reality.” – Antonia Fraile

“Though storm clouds gather, sunny days prevail in England’s green fields, awash in charm that time cannot fade.” – Joanna Campbell Slan

👉 Read more: 34 Inspiring Travel Phrases to Fuel Your Wanderlust

11 Famous Quotes About England

Here are the most iconic and popular quotes about England spoken by famous historical figures, poets and writers:

“England has two books, the Bible and Shakespeare. England made Shakespeare, but the Bible made England.” – Victor Hugo

“England and America are two countries divided by a common language.” – George Bernard Shaw

“I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too.” – Queen Elizabeth I

“England is a nation of shopkeepers.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

“The people of England are the most enthusiastic in the world.” – Benjamin Disraeli

“If I should die think only this of me: That there’s some corner of a foreign field That is forever England.” – Rupert Brooke

“Heaven take thy soul, and England keep my bones!” – William Shakespeare

“England is never in a hurry because she is eternal.” – Henryk Sienkiewicz

“England is the paradise of individuality, eccentricity, heresy, anomalies, hobbies and humors.” – George Santayana

“Oh to be in England now that April’s there.” – Robert Browning

“If we are marked to die, we are enough to do our country loss” – Henry V

14 Shakespeare Quotes About England

Shakespeare was known for his quotes, so I’ve picked out the ones that stand out the most below:

“This royal throne of kings, this scepter’d isle…”

“This precious stone set in the silver sea”

“Heaven take thy soul, and England keep my bones!”

“I do desire we may be better strangers” – As You Like It

“This happy breed of men, this little world”

“Come what come may, time and the hour runs through the roughest day” – Macbeth

“The mirror of all courtesy” – Henry V

“May good digestion wait on appetite” – Macbeth

“If we are marked to die, we are enough to do our country loss” – Henry V

“This England never did, nor never shall, lie at the proud foot of a conqueror.” – King John

“This happy breed of men, this little world, this precious stone set in a silver sea.” – Richard II

“This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.” – Richard II

“Come the three corners of the world in arms, and we shall shock them.” – King John

“This precious stone set in the silver sea” – William Shakespeare

👉 Here’s the best Travel Captions for Instagram and TikTok

10 Fun Quotes About London

The following are some of the best quotes on London that I’ve stumbled upon:

“London goes beyond any boundary or convention. It contains every wish or word ever spoken…” – Peter Ackroyd

“When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.” ― Samuel Johnson

“I’m leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it’s not raining.” ― Groucho Marx

“London goes on and on and on. It’s banks and dales and odd places, far too many people and too much traffic, heaven and hell.” ― Martin Cruz Smith

“I don’t know what London’s coming to — the higher the buildings the lower the morals.” ― Noël Coward

“London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained.” ― Arthur Conan Doyle

“A city that outclasses its inhabitants so completely will always remain dangerous territory.” ― Peter Ackroyd

“London is a roost for every bird.” ― Benjamin Disraeli

“London is often confused with England. The English also live in London but they are only one of the communities which inhabit a true world city.” – M.J. Akbar

“London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful.” – Dorothy Parker

17 Best England Travel Quotes

Next, are some of the most inspirational quotes about England related to travel and being away from home:

“It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life.” – P.D. James

“Growing up in the English countryside, I feel like I’m in a Jane Austen novel when I walk around. I just feel comfortable and confident in those surroundings.” – Lily Collins

“On a bike ride through the Surrey Lanes, pedalling in my cotton dress through the hot fields blushing with poppies, freewheeling down a sudden dip into a cool wooded sanctum.” – Chris Cleave

“I live in the English countryside, so I’m surrounded by magpies.” – Kenneth Branagh

“If you want to eat well in England, eat three breakfasts.” – W. Somerset Maugham

“She told me once that the year she went to England she painted her buttons yellow so she would remember what the sun felt like.” – Brian Andreas

“It is not summer, England doesn’t have summer, it has continuous autumn with a fortnight’s variation here and there.” – Natasha Pulley

“I discovered freedom for the first time in England.” – Hirohito, Emperor of Japan

“England is never in a hurry because she is eternal.” – Henryk Sienkiewicz

“Oh to be in England now that April’s there.” – Robert Browning

“I like English tea better than wine, than port, than champagne…. Love tea!” – Leo Tolstoy

“One crowded hour of glorious life is worth an age without a name in England’s story.” – Walter Scott

“To step on English soil is to inhale centuries of storied history and breathe freely under limitless skies.” – Steve Rudd

“Everywhere you turn in England, a new adventure lies hidden ’round the bend.” – Rick Steves

“In England, antiquity lingers ’round every corner, weaving wondrous tales for all who wander.” – Gina McKnight

“England takes my wandering heart on journeys through castled countryside and seaside villages lost in time.” – John Steinbeck

“Abroad is bloody and abroad is brown, Oh to be in England now that April’s here” – Robert Browning

👉 Come and discover all the best Instagram Travel Hashtags

13 Quotes About England Countryside

I love the following quotes all about the idyllic, sleepy green countryside that England is famed for, which is why I compiled them here:

“It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life.” – P.D. James

“Growing up in the English countryside, I feel like I’m in a Jane Austen novel when I walk around…” – Lily Collins

“On a bike ride through the Surrey Lanes, pedalling in my cotton dress through the hot fields blushing with poppies…” – Chris Cleave

“I live in the English countryside, so I’m surrounded by magpies.” – Kenneth Branagh

“What is it about the English countryside — why is the beauty so much more than visual? Why does it touch one so?” – Dodie Smith

“England is not the jewelled isle…” – George Orwell

“The British climate is ideal – it prevents them from carrying on an uninterrupted conversation all year long.” – Alfred Dupont Chandler

“Love a pedigree” – George Bernard Shaw

“The very woods, paths, fields and farms of England hold secrets from centuries past just waiting to be discovered.” – Beatrix Potter

“I cherished autumnal bike rides through England’s pastoral landscapes, covered in cozy colors stitched by farmers’ quilted fields.” ― Glen R. Brown

“Rolling green hills and golden dales, charming country roads through deep, dark forests – the English countryside is the stuff that dreams are made of.” – Roald Dahl

“Cows dotting emerald fields, church spires over sleepy villages – I will carry visions of England’s bucolic beauty wherever I may roam.” – Lucy Maud Montgomery

“Nature lovingly paints the English countryside in Vermeer hues – vast skies and lush landscapes where beauty patiently waits to be found.” – Simon Schama

10 England Quotes for Instagram and TikTok

Now we have the best England and UK quotes Instagram and TikTok users can add to their reels and posts:

“This royal throne of kings, this scepter’d isle” – William Shakespeare

“Two countries divided by a common language” – George Bernard Shaw

“Oh to be in England now that April’s there” – Robert Browning

“May good digestion wait on appetite” – Macbeth

“It is not raining rain for me, it’s raining daffodils” – A.A. Milne

“Abroad is bloody and abroad is brown, Oh to be in England” – Robert Browning

“The blurred line” – Winston Churchill

“England is not the jewelled isle…” – George Orwell

“Stiff upper lip” – Neil Morrissey

“Victorian family” – George Orwell

12 Quotes About England Football

Finally, here are some witty and funny quotes based on England’s most popular sport, football (soccer):

“Football is not a matter of life and death. It’s much more serious than that.” – Bill Shankly

“We may be a small country, but we’re a great one, too. The country of Shakespeare, Churchill, the Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter. David Beckham’s right foot. David Beckham’s left foot, come to that.” ― Tony Blair

“England has no right to play this kind of football. For now they are still living out of a suitcase with no base, no home. England players arriving at tournaments always look like they are just getting off the plane.” – Paul Gascoigne

“We might not have too many players from Manchester United in the England squad right now but we have the right manager.” – Wayne Rooney

“Good luck England… football and music combined, I wanna see England win something.” – Noel Gallagher

“The fans have been brilliant, hats off to them. Hopefully we’ll give them something to cheer about next summer.” – Harry Kane

“As long as there’s England, there will always be an England football team, and I’ll always support them.” – Wayne Rooney

“England expects.” – Headline before 1966 World Cup Final

“England will win the World Cup when footballers’ legs replace the wings of a dove.” – Nobby Stiles

“No one should go to football. It is a terrible game. Dull, slow and pointless. What makes it even worse is that English people think it is interesting and important.” – Simon Hoggart

“England always play better in indecent night attire.” – Brian Viner

“The English game is not about justice. It’s about glory.” – Bill Shankly

Quotes about England: FAQs

Now that we’ve gone over the most popular and best quotes about England, here are some commonly-asked questions on the topic:

Conclusion: England Quotes

As we’ve seen, luminaries across eras have been moved to capture England’s essence in memorable words. 

While no space allows for every clever quip, I hope this collection distills some of the English spirit – the blending of tradition and humor; moody skies and pastoral beauty that has shaped great writers and leaders.

While inevitably changing, the classic Englishness shown in these quotes prevails – razor sharp wit cozying up to endless rain, countryside churches neighboring bustling city pubs. 

Our football may disappoint, but our humour stays cutting bright. And whatever grey the skies, there’s always tea to warm English hearts!